Your Spouse Is Bipolar - Now What?

You often find the Chinese when in doubt  or have no ready answer for why something is done or happens tell you it is the custom or traditional way. This is many cases is clear nonsense. A custom is merely a habit, often from a not to distant past, that has become a social norm simply because at one point in time it made sense. These so calleZenith Brain Boostd customs often continue as if they were a proven fact of life and not a past expedient to some social desirable behaviour. In Cognitive Behavioural Therapy we are taught to challenge these assumptions by asking constantly for evidence for the beliefs that a person holds as sacrosanct. This form of challenge helps breakdown old thinking and replace with the new ideas or even ideology. So what about traditions, can we see a difference? Well a custom from tradition may have a historical reason again for happening, such as ancestor worship. Once a year the Chinese sweep the graves of the family dead, burn paper money for them and burn incense to ward off evil spirits around the graveside. While most modern Chinese may scoff at the practice as old suspicion them never-the-less continue to every year follow the tradition. It was also traditional to build houses to a certain way for the protection from evil and good karma. However this tradition has almost disappeared under the race for profit in the construction industry and many other commercial enterprises. In other words a tradition only lasts while it is useful. In order to understand the mind of the Chinese client remember what they do and what they believe and how they think may not match to what they say.


I have already touched upon this in family so do not need here to repeat myself. However we must understand the implications of this decision by the political regime to see how it affects or did affect the people's experience. First the rule is not rigid, you can have more children but the state only recognises the first for state benefits and schooling freedom. Any other children become a financial burden directly to the parents. Also in the past under the auspices of the government many forced abortions were carried out by untrained midwives and in filthy conditions with little or no after-care. Many women were sterilised at the same time as giving birth or after the abortion. Boy was favoured over girls and if a girl was suspected in the first pregnancy it was self-aborted under family pressure often. On a positive note did China have much choice? Over-populated, not enough food for self governing, too many unskilled workers who are not needed in an emerging capitalist society, shrinking agriculture and streamlining of production. All leading to a massive unemployment and in some cases starvation and poverty. While the West may talk of human rights - your right to choose to give birth - practical survival overrides this consideration in the minds of most Chinese people.



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